The Potty Training Chronicles: Week 2

Can we potty train in less than two weeks? Let's see.

Day 8: Daddy forgot to put a diaper on BB last night during the bedtime routine. BB woke up dry and asked to go to the potty first thing in the morning! Kid, you don't need to ask. Go as often as you want as long as you make it in the potty. Tell me when you're done and you'll get a prize.

Except it turns out toddlers have an aiming problem in the morning and urine shot clear across the bathroom. No one told BB he needed to aim his penis downward and it seems we've just been very lucky up until this point.

Day 9: I haven't left the house in fear of an outside accident. Yes, I could put him in a diaper for security but what if he goes in the diaper and then regresses? But I am getting stir crazy and my mom needs my help.

Off we go. To my mom's, to shopping, to a restaurant. He asked to go potty 6 times and did not go in his diaper at all. He even came home and pooped in his potty! Is it finally coming together? Can we stop going pants-less at home and start learning how to wear undies?

Day 10: Every morning is now met with a, "Let's go to the potty!" And a child who refuses to take off his nighttime diaper to go. Most days, it's a small amount of urine and then actual pee in the potty. Today, a full diaper of urine and complete disinterest in using the potty.

I feel like we are doing the Electric Slide of progress. (Readers, are you old enough to know what the Electric Slide is?)

Day 11: Dry diaper on wake up, a a cheerful request to use the potty right upon wake up. Can every day be like today?

BB is still freaking out about bowel movements. He will sit on his potty when feeling like he needs to pee but from the time he gets the tummy feeling to actually "producing" anything can be as long as half an hour because he's afraid of releasing.

I sit down and go myself and explain, "Mommy and daddy poop in the toilet too. I know it feels weird and is a little scary right now but there is nothing to be scared of." This is met with my sweet boy looking me in the eye and demanding, "Wipe. My. Butt."

Day 12: We sporadically give BB his iPad to watch Kids Netflix while sitting on the potty waiting for his bowel movements. It seems to take some of the stress off. I mean, it works for adults, why not kids?

Today, he sat with the iPad for at least an hour. 

"Have you pooped?," I would ask. 

"No, I haven't," he would yell back. I am starting to think he is using potty for free screen time. Not unlike his mother.

Finally, I am assuming after his movie was over, he yelled, "Mommy, I pooped!" I dutifully came in to wipe his butt. That is my lot in life.

Day 13: I am hesitant to declare any victories. It seems that the moment I am relieved about any aspect of potty training it is snatched away from me so I can feel the void of unrealized goals.

Day 14: He is in undies everyday now unless he is going to bed or we are leaving the house. He asks to go potty when we are out of the house and comes home with a dry Pull-Up. He goes pee in the potty without asking for any reward. He just goes and does it and goes on about his business like a functioning, dare I say it, potty trained child. He goes to poop in his potty, demanding his iPad when he's going to go and finishes relatively quickly. I am still wiping his butt and pulling up his pants.

But we're not done yet. Please go here to read Part 3 of the Potty Training Chronicles. Or, if you missed it, here is Part 1.

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