Birth Story: The Short Version

When people who haven't had children ask me now how my labor was, I give them this story:
DH asked me to not give birth until my due date, September 9th. He had a project he worked on all year long and people flying in from all over the country at work to bring it all together on September 9th.  As long as I could hold on until then, he could leave on Paternity in good shape.
I told him, "That really isn't up to me sweetie." 

But apparently our child is a considerate little bean because he waited until the evening of September 9th, when Daddy had met his deadline and felt at ease, to break my water. 

But my water breaking, I mean a confusing trickle.  It didn't happen like in the movies.  When it happened, DH looked at me and asked what was wrong because of the look on my face and not a puddle on the floor.  I said, "I think my water just broke?"

And when we got to the hospital at 11pm, I still wasn't 100% sure my water had broken.  We waited to get the fluid tested.  And then it was 25 hours of labor. Everything we expected, nothing we planned for.  That Birth Plan I spent so long on was as good as toilet paper. 

But we knew that Little Bean might be too big for me to vaginally birth and that a C-section was highly likely.  They thought he would be in the high 7 lb to low 8 lb range. I did want to try to have him without surgery though.

So, after hours of labor without an epidural, the next day I had them juice me up.  And it was amazing.  I was finally able to sleep through contractions.  I even had visitors.  My labor wasn't progressing naturally and there's a 24 hour clock that starts when the water breaks to when the baby should be born to avoid high risk of infection. They administered Pitocin to induce productive labor. At hour 23, we started pushing for the next 2 hours only for Baby Buckshot to end up stuck in my pelvis.  

The experience of a c-section is surreal.  Completely drugged up which being shoved and yanked, what I finally remember is hearing him cry when he was removed from my body and the doctor saying "He's bigger than we expected."  Yeah, 8 lbs 12 oz to be exact.  There was no way I was going to birth him out of my 5'2 frame.   Apparently he was very long and had big feet for a new baby too. 

But Mommy drugs are a weird thing.  I don't remember any of the unpleasantness of my labor experience, the same way I don't remember how uncomfortable I was during pregnancy.  This might be my sleep induced haze talking or my breastfeeding frustrated mind talking but it just wasn't that bad.

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