TTC Update: Back at the Beginning

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This is the first official cycle of my TTC journey that I’m actually going to get some fertility treatment.  Yes, it’s been a full year of trying (after 6 months of post M/C waiting) and finally my OB/GYN is going to do some testing on Monday!
In the mean time, because time is a ticking, I did some of my own research and found a DoC/Acupuncturist who has a 95% success rate.  During my initial consult with her yesterday, she recommended a change in diet as well as some other unusual bits of information and the statement that keeps echoing in my mind “How badly do you want a baby?”
You see, I’ve taken a somewhat lax approach to TTC over the past few months. I didn’t want to stress about it.  ”Just let it happen,” says my mom while she wants me to take Chinese fertility herbs.  ”Take it easy,” says my MIL while she recommends that I start charting my basal temperature.  I GET IT PEOPLE, you want grand-babies.
My husband, in his efforts to control his overly-emotional-sensitive-about-fertility wife and counterweight our mothers, has taken a seriously lax approach.  As in, “Just live your life and enjoy yourself now and blow everything out until you’re pregnant and can’t,” while he offers me a cocktail.
I fell somewhere in the middle between Mothers and Husband. Not wanting to want it too much.  Not wanting to do too little. Really trying to relax, not get disappointed every month when it didn’t happen, taking my mind off baby related things.
But I learned something about me over this past year. I need to go all balls out when I try to achieve a goal.  I am not a moderate person. I like getting obsessed.  And as much as I felt there was this negative stigma to having to try so hard to get pregnant and there possibly being something wrong with my fertility, I don’t care about the stigma anymore.I. Really. Want. My. Baby.
Starting today, I’m on a baby making plan. Wish me luck!


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